Are You A Friend of a Smoker?

You have a friend who has decided to quit smoking. They need your help. Non-smoking friends can play a major role in helping a smoker to quit. Your job, while remaining supportive of the smoker as a person, is to reinforce the idea that it is possible for smokers to take control of their smoking. "Love the sinner, hate the sin". The ideal approach does not include hostile confrontation, threats, put-downs, preaching or nagging. Inducing guilt or shame in smokers should be avoided. This overwhelms the ego rather than informing, assisting or strengthening it. The smoker does not need one more reason to reach for a cigarette to soothe painful feelings of guilt.

Here are a few suggestions to help your friend give up smoking:

• With your friends permission, tell other friends and enlist their support.
• Separate the smoker from the smoking. Let the person know that you will continue to care for them no matter what they decide to do about their smoking.
• See the problem from the smoker’s point of view.
• Cigarettes help smokers to deal with stress, to relax, to concentrate and to keep from becoming bored. For many, quitting smoking is like losing their best friend. Cigarettes and nicotine are a powerful physical and psychological addiction. Quitting can be difficult for some, yet easy for others. Confronting the issue not to smoke took courage and this action deserves understanding, not ridicule and blame. A supportive friend can make the smoker feel more secure and add to the positive motivation for change. Remember that smokers must ultimately want to quit for themselves. Encourage them to do what is best, not for you, but for them.
• Offer praise and encouragement. Be a calm, reassuring influence.
• Help your friend keep a good sense of humor.
• Agree to give up something that you dearly love, such as chocolate, TV show, alcohol, coffee, pop, etc. It will show great support on your part.
• Provide your friend with a survival kit of carrot sticks, gum, hard candy, toothpicks, snacks, pencils and games, etc.
• If you’re an ex-smoker, share your quitting experiences but remember that what worked for you may not work for your friend. Quitting is an individual experience.
• Never nag, threaten, or criticize.
• Provide concrete rewards for achieving a goal along the way. Don’t wait until they have quit for good. Quitting should consist of a series of steps; rewards are valuable at each step.
• Visit frequently. Be available.
• Celebrate with them on quit day and afterwards by sending balloons, cards, flowers, etc.
• Your friend really needs your support. Their good health will be your reward! Thanks for helping!